Inktober Day #26: “Limerence”

I’d never heard this term before now, but I’ve experienced it. Here’s‘s definition of limerence:

A state of mind resulting from romantic attraction, characterized by feelings of euphoria, the desire to have one’s feelings reciprocated, etc.

Limerence is that heart-pounding, head-over-heels, “I can’t live without you” feeling at the beginning of a new relationship. It can cause “obsessive-compulsive thoughts, feelings, and behaviors, and emotional dependence on another person.” You’re constantly thinking about them. You’ll do anything to be with them. You’re sure they’re your soulmate. You’re already planning your future together even if you don’t know them well.

What people think “true love” looks and feels like is actually limerence. Blame TV shows and movies for the confusion. Writers don’t always have enough runtime to properly develop a couple’s relationship. But since they’ve conditioned us to believe limerence is love, they don’t have to bother with development. They can just write a bunch of romantic scenes, and we’ll fill in the gaps ourselves.

But in healthy relationships, limerence doesn’t last long: a few months to three years on average. Aisha and Nex were still limerent in this scene from “Legendary Duel” (Winx Club season 6, episode 24), but I think they’ve passed that phase by now. Their relationship feels stable and calm. They‘re not obsessed with each other or dependent on each other’s affection. Instead, they just enjoy each other’s company like a pair of friends. That’s mature love.

Sorry for getting scienc-y on you. I like researching stuff. ?

Anyway, 26 drawings down, five more to go.


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NerdyPrincesses2 Mollz
NerdyPrincesses2 Mollz
October 27, 2018 11:41 am

Just for the record, I always really like it when you get super science-y. You make sure that people understand the concepts you’re explaining, which is always a good tbing.

NerdyPrincesses2 Mollz
NerdyPrincesses2 Mollz
Reply to  Tori
October 28, 2018 12:04 pm

I hate to bring up Nabu, because just hearing fans bring his name up in conversation is enough to make me visibly sigh these days, but it is interesting to note how that couple stayed in limerence permanently while Nexisha has grown out if it. Aisha and Nabu knew each other for a year and were engaged, but for most of season four, they were still acting like teenagers experiencing love for the first time, which felt especially out-of-character for Aisha. Meanwhile, Nex and Aisha have already been dating for a year (though they have known each other longer), and they’re just acting like normal people. I think it’s great that a kids’ show has a more realistic couple, rather than just constantly swinging between limerence and drama. It’s refreshing to see a couple in fictional media that actually act like real-life people.

Reply to  Tori
October 27, 2018 1:39 pm

i’ve not heard of this term either to be honest